clearing skies

Slipped into an emotional funk this last week. Not sure why. Like a depression storm blew in suddenly Thursday and hovered through the weekend, causing scattered crying and gloomy outlook. 

Vivid, difficult dreams. Visiting the space where I lack the ability to control the surfacing and manifestation of my fears. When I awake, I want to forget them, to get on with my day, but I am coated in the emotional residue of chaos, rejection, suffering. Through journaling my dreams, I discover the light of sanity and insight within them, allowing me to shed the darkness.

I am drawn to Conversations with God book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch. On page 115, God’s words speak directly to my dreams, to my fears, to me in this very moment:

So now, as parents, spouses, and loved ones, seek not to make of your love a glue that binds, but rather a magnet that first attracts, then turns around and repels, lest those who are attracted begin to believe they must stick to you to survive. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could be more damaging to another.

Let your love propel your beloveds into the world--and into the full experience of who they are. In this will you have truly loved.

It is a great challenge, this path of the householder. There are many distractions, many worldly concerns. The ascetic is bothered by none of these. He is brought his bread and water, and given his humble mat on which to lie, and he can devote his every hour to prayer, meditation, and contemplation of the divine. How easy to see the divine under such circumstances! How simple a task! Ah, but give one a spouse, and children! See the divine in a baby who needs changing at 3 A.M. See the divine in a bill that needs paying by the first of the month. Recognize the hand of God in the illness that takes a spouse, the job that’s lost, the child’s fever, the parent’s pain. Now we are talking saintliness.

I understand your fatigue. I know you are tired of the struggle. Yet I tell you this: When you follow Me, the struggle disappears. Live in your God space and the events become blessings, one and all.

Deep, internal processing. Skies beginning to clear....