Is it possible to be addicted to sadness? Does being a sensitive and empathic person mean that I am destined to be consumed by the sadness in my life, and in that of others and the world?
Am I ready to live a more joyful life? “Of course!”, my mind says. Yet, for me, joy will continue to be fleeting until I become aware of my unconscious lifelong patterns of attaching to sadness. I am ready to explore my relationship to sadness and challenge beliefs that I have always held as firm and unchangeable. It has been a mind-blowing experience to observe and discover some of the ways that sadness “serves” me:
- sadness feels normal. Period. It has always been, and I have assumed will always be, the most powerful emotion, overwhelming and flooding me seemingly without my control and consuming me for great lengths of time.
- when I am sad about a situation, it feels like I am a more caring person and that I am more present to the situation than when I don’t feel sadness.
- in sadness, my prayers feel more powerful and intent-focused and meaningful.
- there is a profound intimacy when I connect with others over sad situations, whether it is my sadness or theirs...it is an “I get you and care deeply for you” connection.
- I believe that sadness is automatically coupled with my sensitivity as a “blessed curse.”
Wow.
Sadness = Normal. Caring. Presence. Powerful prayers. Intimacy. Blessed curse.
Though well-intentioned, each of these perceptions/beliefs/assumptions/patterns compromises my inner knowing and soul truth. I now can literally see how my compromising of truth is the undercurrent of all my sadness!
This is huge...and to be continued!
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