Tuesday, June 10, 2014

honoring my incredible father November 3, 1935 - May 30, 2014


Hello everyone. I’m Jenice, and, along with my family, I have the profound honor of celebrating the life of Dick Thomes, a beloved husband, our father and grandfather, and a devoted friend to so many. We also want to thank each of you for being here today to honor our dad.

Writing eulogies is sadly nothing new to our family...first was our brother Craig, then Bruce, and then our sister Jennifer. 3 of our father’s 4 biological children preceded him in death. Tragic yes, and heart breaking. And yet, the significant, life-altering events that happen in our lives are a mixed bag of gut-wrenching sorrows and mountain top joys. Our father’s life was no exception.

42 years ago, my mom married Dick, our neighbor, a highly respected and successful veterinarian, and from my 11 year old perspective at the time, an intense and intimidating man. Who would have thought that our gruff dad who scared away the teenage boys from visiting his daughters, and who would snap orders at waiters, would end up being the sweetest, most complacent patient through his two years of decline? Yet, he was, because in reality he was just a big teddy bear, and his “vast as an ocean” heart shone through to the end.  

At the beginning it was a daunting path for our parents to join our families and raise 7 kids, but their love for each other was the key. I couldn’t begin to count how many times over the years that our Dad declared how much he loved our mother, and that she was everything in the world to him. We all know without a sliver of doubt that Dad lived as long as he did for Mom. Of course, we should add in some thanks to Johnny Football as well, but his love for Mom was the magical medicine.

Dad seemed to possess an infinite pool of energy; he was tireless and could run circles around people half his age. He also possessed a deep-rooted passion for veterinary medicine, making it is easy to see how he established himself as an influential doctor in the veterinary field. Dad was a risk taker, he was an innovator, and he was a savvy businessman. His work was never just a job, but instead he was blessed with living his calling.

I’d like to share some of our fondest memories of Dad, and would love it if you raised your hand or gave a shout out if you experienced them too:

deep sea fishing with his friends, which led to neighborhood fish fries (those were the days!)

spending hot Texas summers at the lake, first Grapevine and then Texoma, fishing, skiing, some working on the boat, banana-tubing and inner-tubing, and a little more working on the boat!

on the eve of a fishing outing, he’d tease “4:30 comes mighty early”

card games, booray being my favorite

his deep relationship with God and Jesus and the Catholic Church 

his Old School cuss words like...oh, Mickey Mouse! or Donald Duck!

gardening at the house and the lakehouse, which looked like a lot of work, but really it was his meditation in life, and his creative expression. He created beauty with plants.

being the authority and expert on every subject

wisdom shared with his grandchildren, “Life isn’t always easy, but you do what you have to do.” To the boys, “Think with the head on your shoulders, not the lower one.” 

I’m not sure how wise he was with this one, but he would get the biggest kick out of bribing his kids and grandkids with a minimal amount of money to eat something really gross, like pate’ or sardines, but his favorite was a whole jalepeno! Everyone at the dinner table would be in tears from laughing so hard!

not everyone will understand this one, but...”Catfish!”

grandbabies sleeping on his chest while he napped 

who’s heard his favorite grandkid story about my son Mason when he was little? We were at the lakehouse and heading to dinner and Dad said that somebody needed to ride with Mimi, and Mason said, “Granddad, I’ll ride with Mimi, but I like you best!”

mexican food, that is spicy Mexican food (Tupinambas was his favorite)

world travels with his friends and family

he was a bit of a prankster, and a big joke teller; who here has called my parent’s house and had my dad answer in a woman’s voice?

on the spot made up stories about Paul Bunion and Moby Dick

watching sports, but mostly his beloved Aggies...can I hear a Gig ‘em?!

how about those motorhome drives to Kyle Field? 

  How many of you thought that our Dad was the smartest person you knew? His well of knowledge was boundless. The funny thing though is that even when he didn’t know the answer, he was so confident and persuasive that he would still convince you that he was right! 

But truly, in our eyes, Dad could do anything and everything. No life problem was too big for him to fix.  He supported us when we made mistakes, and he supported us when we made choices he didn’t understand. He made everything okay with 3 simple words...I love you. There was an unconditionality and purity behind his words, and when he said “I love you. Trust your heart. Everything is going to be okay,” he gave you the light of hope that it would be okay, and it was. The word you will hear over and again is “rock.” Dad was the rock of our family in the hard times, and he was the rock in the good times. 

Dad was simply a great man. So many of you have shared that he was a rock for you too, or a father figure, or a role model.  He was unselfish, and so freely generous, and he took care of other people without needing any sort of credit or repayment or recognition. He had the heart of Christ. We need more people like Dick Thomes in this world. You know from the moment he married my mom, he took in me and Allan and Michelle as his own children. He loved us as his own, he took care of us in every way, and the word “stepchild” was never, ever in his vocabulary. Yes, Dick Thomes was a great man.

When our loved ones die, we can find ourselves overtaken by grief and heaviness, and possibly depression or even anger.  And yet, we witnessed how loss softened our father and propelled him into even deeper connections with his family and friends. I believe Dad wants the same for us in his transition from earth to the realm of heaven...he wants us to rely on each other for support, and to connect even more deeply with each other. 

We are grateful from the core of our beings to our loving God for bringing Richard Johannes Thomes into this world 78 years ago and for welcoming Dad back into His loving embrace. I know that the first thing he heard from God is, “Job well done, my child. Job well done.”  And I know everyone in this room is celebrating the same thing, “Life well lived, Dick. Job well done.” 

Dad, save us a seat on that fishing boat that we know you’re on right now. We look forward to hearing your voice tell us once again that 4:30 comes mighty early.