the gifts of aging

Trey, Mason, Grace and I just enjoyed several days in picturesque Chattanooga, TN with Trey’s mom, aunt and uncle. We had a wonderful time reconnecting with family with whom I never feel like we have enough time. We were blessed to hear stories of their pasts, as well as to witness them thriving in their 70’s and 80’s. I was truly inspired by how they live each day with such a high energy level and passion! Absolutely incredible and beautiful to witness!

Spending time with some of our senior family members prompted me to focus on the positives of aging. At the age of 53 and definitely feeling the decline of my body and energy level, I realized that it is easy to focus on the negative changes that aging brings to my day to day experience and that I would be well served to start focusing on the positive changes. Thank God that there are some exquisite transformations!

Living less from the head and more from the heart. I find myself advising my children to honor their intelligence as a tool to be consciously used and not to allow their brains to rule them and dictate their reality. Live from the heart with your head supplementing and supporting your creations.

Less stress and the allowance or the freedom to do what you want to do, and live how you want to live, and be who you want to be. I am not sure why we typically wait until we are older to shift our focus, but it feels very freeing to release the need to please others and to honor yourself and your own desires.

Greater appreciation and presence with family, friends, and others. I’m not sure if it is the creeping awareness of a limited time on earth, or the loss of loved ones, or both, but I savor my time with loved ones now in a way I never did when I was younger.

The beauty of experiencing my children as young adults and our relationships deepening and becoming more balanced and harmonized as equals/peers. So yummy to watch the lives of these beings whom you love so richly blossom into their fullness. It is like they were your caterpillar and now they are a fellow butterfly.

The prospect of grandchildren. Not rushing it or pressuring any of my three kids, just enjoying the potential!

Being middle-aged is awesome! For real!

unleashed movement and emotion

Trey and I spend many a Sunday morning participating in a freestyle movement, or conscious dance, gathering in our community. These mornings are typically magical for one or both of us. 

We have the opportunity to “move from the inside out” in a safe, nonjudgmental environment and without any attachment to looking good or dancing well. We have the opportunity to get out of our head for an hour and a half and instead connect with our body, and its beauty and wisdom and authentic expression. This freedom, this letting go, allows emotions to surface and express and release. 

For a movement person, like me, this is a powerful and often healing experience. I acknowledge, though, that for someone not connected or drawn to movement, it would be the last thing you would ever want to do! Yet, for Trey and me and the rest of our Sunday morning community/tribe, it is often one of the best things we do for ourselves all week.

This last weekend was my birthday and Mason joined us for Sunday dance for the first time. His presence was the icing on my birthday cake, with the plumpest cherry on top! During the last song on the playlist, I got out of my dance zone and looked around the room. All dancers were on the ground stretching and cooling down, except for my husband and my son, the only males in the room. So I sat against the wall, and witnessed...experienced...received the pure beauty of their:

freedom

openness

expression

sensitivity

love

connectedness

I cried with such overwhelming joy and gratitude and awe that it hurt. It still does.

my son the earth roamer

I journal. I journal for a variety of reasons...to process, to vent, to capture, to create, and to remember. The “to remember” reason is futile, really, as I have stacks of journals over my lifetime and it would almost take a lifetime to find a particular entry! So long ago, I settled upon the idea that all memories are accessible in my psyche somewhere and will reveal themselves when appropriate, and this hopeful possibility has just manifested! I am so tickled!

Last week, Mason returned home to Colorado after four months of international travel. Yes, he has quite an envious life...first he spent several weeks in New Zealand and Australia with Taylor Swift Red Tour, then a couple of weeks in Barbados with a close friend, then a few weeks in Iceland with another dear friend, and ended up with several weeks in Europe with TS tour again. Wow!

All through these months, I was able to connect with Mason through texts, and, even more satisfying, through Facetime.  He was not only on a physical journey, but a spiritual one as well. He marveled at the deep connections he made with so many different people in each of these countries. His heart was open and he experienced instantaneous bonds with people who were strangers just moments before. These experiences and new relationships were deep and profound to him and he was overflowing with love and gratitude.

On our drive home from the airport, he was sharing more about the love he felt for his old friends, for his new friends, as well as for himself. At that moment, we drove past a building with the business name of “Earth Roamer.” We both giggled at the apropos “not coincidence” of that label for him, as he had literally been an earth roamer for the previous four months.

In the next moment, the “memory miracle” materialized from nowhere, or maybe everywhere! I remembered one of my Toastmaster meetings over 10 years ago that I had brought Mason to. He was around 10 years old at the time. Questions were asked to different members of the audience and Mason was asked, “What do you want to be or do when you grow up?”  He walked up to the podium and emotionally answered, “I want to fly on a plane around the world and share love.”

He surprised me with his response, and even himself it seemed, and yet everyone in the room felt his passion and his genuineness. This was a moment of innocence and purity that revealed the heart and deepest desires of this kid. 

At the age of 20, my son the Earth Roamer has embarked on his journey of flying on a plane around the world and sharing love.