pornography to me ears and soul

I’m driving my 8th grade daughter to school this morning. As usual, she is in control of the radio station and music selection. Also as usual, she settles in on a mainstream hip hop/pop station. 

We travel without conversation as neither of us is fully awake yet, only the music filling the silence. A song plays that I have not heard before, and suddenly I feel as if I have been punched in the stomach, drained of breath and life force. Did I hear those lyrics correctly? I immediately turn off the radio. My heart and my being sink.

I instruct Grace that when this song comes on the radio, she is to change the station immediately. This is not typical behavior for me, or a typical reaction from me. Usually, I’m fairly easy going, or more accurately, I’m resigned to the fact that our popular music is inundated with graphic sexual and violent messages. 

I’m not sure why, but this morning the brazen lyrics trigger an intensely negative visceral reaction in me. I’m sad. I feel beat up. I’m angry. 

I feel totally ambushed and attacked by the message and deeply saddened that our society has reached the point of complacency that my teenager and I are unwittingly exposed to pornography while driving to middle school.

I’m surprised by the intensity of my own reaction.

I find the song on the internet when I get home. It is called “E.T.” and is by Katy Perry. Kanye West is featured on it. These lyrics are sung by Kanye:

Imma disrobe you

Then Imma probe you

See I've abducted you

So I'll tell you what to do

I tell you what to do (what to do, what to do)

OK. I know that these lyrics are no worse than many other songs out there. And, I know that I allow my children to be exposed to a great deal of unhealthy influences in their day to day life through mainstream media.

But in this moment, I am devastated that my beautiful 14 year old daughter, who is in the stage of life where she is discovering her place in the world, hears these lyrics and worse, day in and day out, lyrics that to me say that it is fine, normal or even desirable for a man to exploit you, abuse you, rape you, abduct you, exert power over you.... I’m sickened.