he completes me

Last weekend, I joined a group of ladies to see the movie “Eat Pray Love.”  The movie, which is based on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book of the same name, has led me to reflect upon my relationship with my husband Trey.

I need Trey. There was a time, early in our relationship, that I needed him for the “wrong” reasons…my insecurity and perceived lack of power. Then I grew and evolved and self-discovered and came to the idea that I must relinquish any and all need for him to prove my emotional health. I believed that I must be able to be independent and autonomous. That is a little difficult to totally achieve when you are happily married, but to some extent I did achieve it. I reached a point in our relationship and in my life in which I knew without a doubt that I could be okay without him. More importantly, I knew that I was “me” whether with him, or without him. For me, it was a journey of discovering that I love myself, deeply in fact. I held the belief that though I did not need Trey to be healthy and to be me, life was far richer and juicier and more joyous sharing it with him. 

And now, I find myself back to the knowing that I need Trey. I need my beloved to fully experience myself. I need his touch to keep my body aware and responsive. I need the space he creates while we lie in bed, his arms around me, his heart open and nonjudgmental, and his willingness to just be present with me…for me to release and shed through words or tears or both the sadness of the world that I tend to absorb. I need him like he is my counterpart, the yang of my yin, the completion of me, the perfect complement and balance to wholeness. At one time, it felt as though his profound love for me was the soil, the nourishment, for my own blooming, but now it feels as though energetically, spiritually, and in essence we are one and the same; he is me and I am him. In this new and different way from our early relationship, I need him.